N's story

I am very happy to tell you my story with its good ending to encourage others to not give up, keep the faith and offer support because I know how important it is.

For those of you that don't want to read everything: hard work pays off and my keywords to the whole process I was going through are: patience and calmness, do not get into despair as it takes us down and does not help us go up, and I was desperate many many times along the way, so I know how hard it is.

I am religious and got married one year and four months ago and that night was our first sexual intercourse attempt. I cannot describe the feeling, we did everything in ease, carefully, my husband was with me, aware and sensitive and still, the feeling was as if sandpaper is rubbed down there, burning… but I was ok with it, I was prepared for pain so I didn’t feel too exceptional so we tried again, but this time the pain made me break into tears. I still thought it was all about practising and that it will pass slowly, but it didn’t. A month and a half after our wedding day I felt that my pain is not a normal stage on the way to good sexual intercourse so I went to a gynecologist that immediately referred me to Dr Abramov (later I have realized that it was almost a miracle that this gynecologist didn’t blow me off telling me to drink a glass of wine and relax, I was treated by a doctor who could say she does not understand this area and cannot help me). Two weeks later Dr Abramov diagnosed vestibulodynia and vaginismus, recommended sexual therapy, pelvic floor physiotherapy and using lidocaine before any sexual intercourse attempt.

Lidocaine was not effective at first and the earliest physiotherapy appointment I got was for 4 months later, but I did start a sexual therapy that was necessary. Slowly with a lot of patience, I went through a process of different ointments, dilators and physiotherapy. During that time we did not have sexual intercourse, until once after 5 months of intensive treatment we tried and the pain was unbearable. The pain surprised me as I was certain that all this process was supposed to help somehow, but it didn’t. I was crying a lot, was very disappointed with myself, why am I damaged, why can’t we be like everyone else, I saw couples in the street and thought how perfect things are for them and how it is messed up for us. I have decided to let go of the treatment a little.

About 8 months ago Dr Abramov referred me to Orit Zilberman for acupuncture which completed my treatment envelope. I started an intensive treatment and came at Orit’s clinic twice a week, I stopped taking the birth control pill and started using the fertility awareness method and gradually the condition got better and we had sexual intercourse. The pain significantly reduced but not completely. Very slowly the hard work paid off and today we can have sexual intercourse without using lidocaine, the pain is felt in the first penetration and then it completely disappears!

I wish my story helped others even by giving a little hope, what I think helped me most was that I assigned to getting over the pain as a project and covered myself with treatments from any area possible and the combination contributed the success.

Patience is the name of the game, no magical solution (it took me many crying attacks to realize that), but you have to keep trying until you find the right treatment.