N's story

I'm happy to tell you my story with its good ending even just to encourage others to not give up, keep the faith and offer support, because I know how important it is.

For those of you that don't want to read everything: hard work pays off and my keywords of the whole process I was going through are: patience and calmness. Try not to get into despair as it takes us down and does not help us go up. I was desperate many many times along the way, so I know how hard it is.

I am religious and got married one year and four months ago. That night was our first attempt to have sexual intercourse. I cannot describe the feeling, although we did everything with ease carefully and my husband was with me, aware and sensitive, still, the feeling was as if sandpaper is rubbed down there, burning… but I was ok with it, I was prepared for pain so I didn’t feel too exceptional so we tried again, but this time the pain made me break into tears. I still thought it was all about practising and that it will pass slowly, but it didn’t. 

A month and a half after our wedding day I felt that my pain is not a normal stage on the way to good sexual intercourse so I went to a gynaecologist that immediately referred me to Dr Abramov (later I realized that it was almost a miracle that this gynaecologist didn’t blow me off telling me to drink a glass of wine and relax, I was treated by a doctor who could say she does not understand this area and cannot help me). 

Two weeks later Dr Abramov diagnosed me with vestibulodynia and vaginismus and recommended sexual therapy, pelvic floor physiotherapy and using lidocaine before attempting penetration.

 

Lidocaine was not effective at first and the earliest available physiotherapy appointment was for 4 months later, but I did start a sexual therapy that was necessary. Slowly with great patience, I went through a process that included different ointments, dilators and physiotherapy. During that time we did not have sexual intercourse, until once after 5 months of intensive treatment we tried and the pain was unbearable. The pain surprised me as I was certain that the process I went through would have helped somehow, but it didn’t. 

 

I was crying a lot, was very disappointed with myself, why am I damaged? why can’t we be like everyone else? I saw couples in the street and thought how perfect things must be for them and how messed up it is for us, and decided to let go of the intensive treatment for a bit.

 

About 8 months ago Dr Abramov referred me to Orit Zilberman for acupuncture which has completed my treatment envelope. I started an intensive treatment and came to Orit’s clinic twice a week, I stopped taking the birth control pill and instead used the fertility awareness method.
 

Gradually the condition got better and we had sexual intercourse. The pain significantly reduced but not completely. Slowly the hard work paid off and today we can have sexual intercourse without using lidocaine, the pain shows only during the first penetration and then it completely disappears!

 

I wish my story helped others even by giving a little hope, what I think helped me most was that I was assigned to get over the pain as a project and covered myself with treatments from any area possible and the combination contributed to the success.

 

Patience is the name of the game, no magic solution (I realized that after many crying attacks), only keeping trying until without breaking until it works.